Quotes from Chapter Five

Milton: I'm not endorsing it, but I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to smack Malcolm White.
Harvey: Who are you kidding, Milton? He'd crush you like a bug.
Milton: Hey, go to hell, Harvey.

Marla: Some of these freshmens are sleeping with boys they don't even like.
Harvey: Too bad women aren't that way, Milton. You'd be a shoe-in.
Milton: What part of "go to hell" don't you understand?

Marilyn: I don't remember ever doing an attendance report.
Marla: I just fudge 'em. All kids present.
Harry: And it's you who's absent.
Marla: I've got four cheeks, Harry. Bite whichever one you want.

Steven: I'm not gonna play cover-up, Scott, even if it's my ass we're trying to cover. And everything that happens around here isn't my fault, by the way!

Lauren: I'm having a few people over and I would love for you to come.
Scott: As your date? I'm sorry.

Lauren: Oh, thank you, Mr. God.

Lauren: I'm having a hard time getting through to her, probably because I'm a...
Dana: Nun.
Lauren: Teacher.

Harvey: Now, what does this say to us?
Student: When you go to a hooker, just don't look in the mirror.

Scott: I'm in love with Lauren Davis.

Steven: Too often I'm the black principal when all I want to be is the principal.

Marla: Somebody's gotta say grace. Nobody eats before we say grace.
Lauren: I'll say it.
Harry: 'Cause you're the nun.

Back to episode info