Quotes from Chapter Three

Marla: That boney-assed bitch can't really move Steven out, can she?
Scott: That boney... Marsha Shinn has a lot of power.

Kevin: My players had a team meeting. They think one of our linebackers is gay and they don't want to shower with him. What do I do?
Marla: Stamp "homophobe" on all their helmets, then...
Scott: Marla!
Kevin: Nice.
Scott: You do absolutely nothing. That is what you do.
Kevin: Nothing?
Scott: You certainly can't force them to shower, they'd have a sexual harrassment claim. If you ban the boy from the shower he has a discriminaton claim.
Kevin: If I do nothing, what does that make me?
Scott: A football coach.

Marla: It isn't easy keeping my kids interested in those Founding Father farts of the American Revolution. It's hard enough without having to compete with cannibals. Now all the students in my class want to be in your class. They want to know if the Indians used to marinate their victims and whether we taste salty.

Marla: Stuck-up intellectual superintedant frappaccino bitch.

Marla: Is there anything more magical than a classroom?

Back to episode info