Quotes from Chapter One

Mr. Harrelson: He failed because you didn't like his answers.
Lauren: It's American History, Mr. Harrelson, the questions are not subjective. Who was Abraham Lincoln? Jason's answer? He invented the log.

Steven: All I know right now, it is for Dana Poole to wear a bra.

Marla: I've had it! You hear me? Had it! Got hit with a spitball the size of a silver dollar. A big wet wad weighing two or three pounds hit me right here!

Mr. Harrelson: Sir, when you talk to me like I'm an idiot, I become one, and you do not want to be in a room with me when I am an idiot. Do you understand?

Jackson: I don't see why I should bust my black ass reading about a bunch of lies.
Harvey: Well, you see, Mr. Jackson, my job is to see that you get your black ass into college. Now whether these things in these books be lies or not, your achievement tests that you will be taking are standardized, and you'll have to know all of these untruths in order for you to pass them. And how many slaves Jefferson had sex with will not be on the test. And if you fail American History, Mr. Jackson, you'll be sitting here again next year, and you'll have to listen all over again to what my shriveled white Jewish ass has to say.

Lauren: Harvey, don't take advantage of my adoring you.

Steven to Malcolm: Anthony Ward gets so much as a hangnail, I will take your head off.

Steven: Hey, we made it through another week. Nobody ODed, nobody got shot and none of us lost our minds.

Back to episode info